RSS

As I held My Father’s Hand – “What It’s All About!”

11 Apr

Daniel & Nolan White (@TheMetroRedneck)

I received a text from my good friend Daniel C White (TheMetroRedneck) this past Saturday morning with a picture of he and his 5 1/2 year old son Nolan after their morning Turkey Hunt.  The words of the text read, “What it’s all about!”  The minute I saw Daniel’s text God put, “As I held My Father’s Hand” on my mind to write.

Like Daniel I am the father of young children.  My sons, Caleb (will be 11 on April 24th), Josiah (5), Levi (4), Silas (2) all look at me for answers to life.  They want to know what truth is, they want to hear stories of my childhood days of hunting and fishing, they want me to listen to their stories, and find common ground with them.  They all long for a one-on-one relationship with dad that may be different from each other and with four boys that sometimes can become taxiing. They want me to be real with them.  This is especially true for my oldest son, Caleb.  They want me to use language they understand when I’m talking with them.  They also want to do things together as a group of guys… just hangin’ with dad.  It is in these moments that I trust God to work in their lives.

When I think of holding my Father’s Hand I think not only of my responsibility as a father to be an example, love well, and lead well, but also to know who’s hand I am holding.  That of my Heavenly Father.  My prayer is that I hold onto my Heavenly Father’s hand well enough that as I hold the hand of my Father, my son’s can feel confident in holding mine.

I recall a writing by Lynn H. Pryor (Editorial Project Leader for Living With Teenagers) who wrote on reaching students.  In Lynn’s writing several things caught my attention that I submit are good insights for us to consider as we impact our children and the next generation of outdoorsmen who are watching our Hunting, Fishing, & Shooting Shows.

– Don’t assume children accept your definition of truth…

The days of telling kids what they ought to believe and expecting it to just be so are few and far between.  It might require that you approach the truth with new and creative methods.  The Message never changes but the method will.

– Tell them your story…

I’m sure you’ve found this to be true… the older children become the more there is the tendency to argue; but it will be hard to argue about your life story.  Share your story with them.  What your life was like before and what your life is like now.

– Listen to their story…

This isn’t only true for teenagers.  This is just as true for younger children.  My son’s Josiah (5) and Levi (4) love to tell stories and they want to know that I’ve heard theirs before they want to hear mine.  It’s the old adage, “we have to earn the right to be heard”.

Nolan White on his 1st Turkey Hunt

 

– Find common ground…

For us… it’s hunting, fishing, and shooting with the boys.  They are most receptive to hearing from Stephanie and I, when we are outdoors.  It’s the great equalizer.  What and/or where is your common ground with your children?

– Build a relationship…

Relationship building knows no age limit.  If you want to hear and be heard you must build a relationship.  It has been my experience that this process re-addresses itself in different stages of our children’s growth… elementary, jr high, high school, college, young adult hood, and young parent.  Each one of these stages requires us as parent’s to address how we hold their hands and how they hold ours.

– Be real…

Be the you God created you to be.  “If you’re not an adolescent, don’t try to act like one.”  Our children, youth, and young adults need good, healthy, balanced adult relationships.  They may not admit it, but they know they need it and are longing for it.  Being yourself and leading well will go a long way in helping kids believe in you.

– Avoid confusing language…

Use words they will understand.  I’ve found that in some situations I don’t communicate well with my boys due to my choice of words that don’t connect.  For children and younger youth it is important that we communicate using words that don’t complicate the process of learning.

site note: Levi (3) loves using words like “thunder chicken”, “swamp donkey”, and “freak nasty” … now where in the world would he have heard those words….. smiles…. Waddell would be proud.

– Integrate them into group life…

Even though they may not show it, children and teenagers want community.  They love being with their friends.  This is a great opportunity for you as a parent to model for them truth that they only believe, into something that they experience and lived out. Don’t under estimate the power of community.

Trust God to work…

My standard line is, “It’s not as if this slipped up on God.”  You can count on that my friend.  God is at work in you… even when you don’t see it.  He is at work in your children regardless of their age.  Trust God to do something amazing in spite of you.

What It's All About!

Now back to Daniel’s hunt with Nolan…  Daniel did a little of all these by taking Nolan turkey hunting.  I can’t wait to meet Nolan in person and have him tell me about how his dad took him turkey hunting, how they told stories, heard stories, how dad taught me to stalk and crawl, how dad talked with me, hung out with me, and the memories we made, “As I held My Father’s Hand”.

There will be a day when Nolan will ask much deeper questions; about life, spirituality, girls, love, college, marriage, and children.  And through these years of parenting Daniel will be prepared to handle those questions, because he has been holding The Father’s Hand.

Truly… “What It’s All About!”

Special thanks to Daniel and Nolan White for allowing me to showcase their story and their photos from a great 2011 Spring Turkey Hunt.  If you haven’t connected with Daniel C. White, let me encourage you to do so online at:

Six Degrees… of DCW

The Metro Redneck


Advertisements
 
7 Comments

Posted by on April 11, 2011 in Devotional

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

7 responses to “As I held My Father’s Hand – “What It’s All About!”

  1. Daniel C White

    April 11, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Kerry, I cannot tell you what this post means to me. I might actually frame it 🙂

    This stuff IS so important to me, and you’re right, that getting out in the woods really does open the door for our kids to see something different in us. It opens doors for questions that might not come up in everyday life.

    I was so honored that I could take my boy on this hunt. I really didn’t think that I would be able to take him this early on in life, but it worked out just fine.

    Thanks again for sharing this post with everyone!!!

     
    • Pastor Kerry

      April 11, 2011 at 10:26 am

      Daniel,

      So proud of you my friend. It is my privilege to join you on the journey of a life-time as we “live the dream”. It is so true that doing life in the outdoors with our families is the great equalizer for conversation.

      I’ve also found it true for men and women of all ages. Being in the outdoors gives us a place to be real, authentic, let our guard down, have conversations we’d otherwise not have, instill values in our children, and enjoy God’s creation first hand.

      Looking forward to joining you guys hopefully some day on a hunt.

      Pastor Kerry

      @kerrymackey (twitter) kerry.mackey (facebook)

      http://chaplaintotheoutdoorsmen.com http://streettotheseat.com

       
  2. Mark

    April 11, 2011 at 10:46 am

    Kerry,

    You made some great application points here, and tying them in with Daniel’s story really makes this post special. I got that same text from Daniel, and it also struck me immediately how important what we as fathers are to do. We can be all kinds of things in this world, but if we are giving up being a great husband and father to pursue greatness in other areas, then our success will ultimately be for naught.

    Mark

     
    • Pastor Kerry

      April 11, 2011 at 11:16 am

      Mark,

      You are right on, we can not give up being a great husband and father to pursue otherness… greatness and success begin at home in being a good spiritual leader, husband, and father.

      All other “greatness” pales in comparison to the greatness that begins at home.

       
      • Daniel C White

        April 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm

        Glad to be connected with you two after your last comments!

         
  3. Kent Mackey

    April 29, 2011 at 8:47 am

    Kerry I honestly believe this is the best post ever! It actually gave me goose bumps as I read it. Daniel is such a lucky man to not only have his memories of that day but this post to go along with it. Heck, it touched me so much I want to frame it. Reminded me of the day that you called me from Florida when Caleb killed his deer. You had that frog in your throat and was so emotional that you could hardly tell me the story. I believe that this post needs to submitted to someone for publication? There are so many people who could benefit from it!!! Keep up the amazing work your doing here and in your everyday life. You are truly an inspiration to everyone you meet. Love Kent

     
    • Pastor Kerry

      May 2, 2011 at 9:49 am

      Hey… Thanks brother. Daniel said the same thing. He and his wife are thinking about framing it. I am privileged to have told their story. I’d love to have it shared for publication. Not sure how that process all works but I am wide open to the idea. I remember Caleb’s first kill as if it were today. I have the image in my head as he rested the rifle ( Rem Mod 700 SPS 7mm-08) you bought him on my shoulder and squeezed the trigger. That pig never moved… dead in his tracks. And Caleb with a scope bruise on his forehead. The day he began his manhood journey. A great day for me.

      Love Ya Bro!

      Kerry

       

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: